For Better or Worse, In sickness or Health

Today, I came across this article in my Organisation's July Newsletter. (page 15)

“I take you to be my lawfully wedded husband/wife, tohave and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part."

This article talks about how a couple stays together after either one of the spouse acquired a disability. To me, these couples are very admirable as it is already difficult to maintain a "normal" marriage for some people, what's more about a marriage when one of the couple acquired a disability.

Through my 1 year experience working with adults with disabilities, it is heartening to see that the spouses remain by the side of the persons with disablities. Though at times the persons with disabilties may be "grouchy", scolded at them, etc, they still, without any grumbles, stay by the side of them. Some even gave more TLC (tender, loving, care) to their partners. Though I cannot be sure if their is more or less, as I didn't know them before they acquired their disabilities.

For better or worse... ...
Something that we know that for sure, when one has acquired a disability, the other spouse has to take on the roles and responsibilities that was undertaken previously by the persons with disabilities. Thus, as mentioned in the newsletter, there may be additional role to be played by the well spouse which will be stressful for him/her. This spouse may also have to give more and expect lesser from the persons with disablities.

For richer, for poor
With the breadwinner being the persons with disablities, the family's finanical is deeply impacted. Now the other spouse have to shoulder the responsiblitiy to earn a living for the family. But at the same time, we have to agree that there will be an increase of expenditure such as medical fees, alternate childcare arrangement or even hiring a caregiver(maid) to take care if the spouse has to work.

To love and to cherish
When one has aquired a disablity, more often than not, mutual support that has once been presence, has become one-sided. And things like dreams and goals as well as intimacy may have to take a back seat till things get better. Thus, the relationships will change and couples has to find alternative to support one another and ways to feel intimate and to relook their goals.

Till death do us apart
As stated in the article, disability does not end a relationship. To me, it just show how strong a relationship is!


In summary, it is always very heartening to see how one can provide unconditional love and care for persons with disability.