What it takes to understand a person?

Just some random thoughts.....

It takes a person TIME, PATIENCE and CONSTANT TRIAL AND ERROR to understand a person. It will be good if you can understand a person the first time the person did something or said something. If you failed to understand what the person actually meant, ASK.

"Seek to understand."

Be PATIENT. If you don't get it right the first time, don't get irritated with yourself (which I often did) or others. Stop and think. What could go wrong. It takes TIME to understand and know a person. Even we don't know our parents well enough and our parents don't know us well enough, what makes few weeks or few months or even few years of friendship/relationship for us to say that we know each other well enough?

Understanding a person require CONSTANT TRIAL AND ERROR. You think or feel that it may be this way, maybe not. You just got to give it a try somehow, rather than worrying whether is it wrong or right. But we are not the "worms" in the person to know what every action or word actually meant. It takes us constant trying:

"Oh, do you meant this?"

"What are you doing?"

"I don't get you, what are you trying to say?"

On the other hand, people being understood, needs to give those who wants to understand him/her TIME and PATIENCE. Not to forget, allow them to use CONSTANT TRIAL AND ERROR. Do not feel irritated when the one who seek to understand does not understand you and says he/she does not understand you. Do note that the process he/she is going through, is LEARNING to understand you.

In addition, have you guys every wonder, we tends to feel more irritated with our loved/closed ones not being able to understand us as compared to some "normal" friends or acquaintances? When "normal" friends or acquaintances don't understand us, sometimes we are more patient with them and able to tell them maybe once or twice. But when it is with our loved/closed ones, we tends to think and feel that "you should know", "you should understand" or "you don't understand".

It takes both hands to clap. Just like 2 persons standing, facing a door. When one tries to open the door, the other refused to let the other party to open the door. The door will never be able to open. Same goes to understanding a person. If one prevents the other one from understanding him/her for whatever reasons, the person seek to understand will face numerous challenges in understanding the person who does not wish to be understood.

As I am someone who always want to try to understand a person especially my closed ones, I will get really bothered when I feel that I don't understand them enough. Or worse off, when someones tells me that,

"You don't understand me".

Sometimes it can be really hurting to hear that. Maybe sometimes I just try too hard to try to understand someone. But on the other hand, the other person may be feeling irritated as well.... hmm.....

Well, the moral of the story is, before you decide to tell someone he/she don't understand you, tries to explain and let him/her understand, so that you will be understood. If we don't try to explain, we will not be understood and then we will say others don't understand us..... and others will try/learn to understand us...... and yet we don't want to explain..... and it continues....

We will never be understood.

I just reaslised I had posted an entry some time ago on similar topic, but that is more on our assumptions on "they will not understand even when I tell them". Does this happen to you too that we often decided not to explain further? Check it out!