Men go to cave and women talk - Part 1

In this chapter of "Men are from Mars. Women are from Venus", the author shared that men and women cope with stress differently - Men go to cave and Women talk. Men become "increasingly focused" and "withdrawn" while women become "increasingly overwhelmed" and "emotionally involved".

According to the author, it is important to understand and accept these differences - Men feel better by solving problems while women feel better by talking about their problems. Not doing so, friction is bound to occur in the relationships.

How men cope with stress/ problems
It was mentioned that when a man get upset, he will never talks about what is bothering him and would not burden another person to solve his problem unless his friend's assistance is necessary to solve the problem. Instead, he will become very quiet and goes into his private cave and think about his problem, mulling it over to find a solution. When he has found the solution, he feels much better and comes out of his cave.

But what if he still can't find a solution?
Then he will do something else to forget about the problems, like reading the news or playing a game. By doing so, he can disengage his mind and relax. If his stress is great, then he might engage in more challenging activity like racing his cars, competing in contest or climb a moutain.


How women cope with stress/ problems
When a woman gets upset, or stress, to find relief, she will seek out someone she trusts and then talks in great detail about the problems. When women share their feelings of being overwhelmed, they suddenly feel better.

The author mentioned that when women share their problems with another, it is actually a sign of love and trust and not burden. A woman feels good when she has loving friends who she can share her feelings and problems.


To be continued on how men find relief in the cave, how women react to the cave, how women find relief through talking and how men react to the talking.

Stay tune!