Pain

I went for my facial yesterday. And I have to go through a period of pain, i.e. when the beautician "Squeeze" out the oil in the clotted pores or the blackheads. That was a time I guess is when all the focus was at the physical pain. I've forgotten all the problems or worries that I was thinking about few minutes ago. The pain seems to block my other sensations.

From here, maybe that is the reason why some people like to commit suicide or cut their own arms/legs. This gives them a route of avoidance. A route for them to run away from the problems temporary. And perhaps a sense of control.

I guess many a time, physical pain is not as intense as emotional pain. Sometimes emotional trauma/pain can be more painful. There is going to have a module on 'Pain' in my degree conversion but I'm not taking.

So coincidently, just as I was typing this, I saw a friend's MSN PM changed to:

"Pain is my friend, it tells me im still alive."

Not sure what has happened. Don't know if that was just a quote or he is experiencing some pain. Hope he is alright anyway.

Bad morning

I had a super BAD morning.....

*reader have to take note that the following descriptions that what happened to me may be alittle too descriptive.*

Waking up in the middle of the night due to very bad stomach ache/cramp/diarrhea at 3+am in the morning!!!

Can you imagine being in the toilet with the excruciating pain in the tummy? That point in time... I feel like just give me an injection and put me to sleep.... I am so damn tired.... and with the damn pain.... and with the intermittent diarrhea.... ARGH!!!!

And because of the intermittent diarrhea and I also wasn't able to "push out" the "liquid" out from my tummy.... I can feel the tossing and contraction of whatever is in my tummy.... nothing at that point of time can ease the pain.... nothing seems to be able to "Get out" of my body..... until I stand up... and it feels like I am ready to "let go"... yet.... when I sat down.... the pain came back again..... dammit!!!!

I just felt like sleep in the toilet.... on the floor for that moment in time.... and clear the whatever mess the next day. Haiz.... that is the worse pain I ever have.... considering myself being someone with high tolerance for pain.... and I was sort of moaning in pain..... hmm... maybe that is the feeling of how girl girl felt before she passed away.... with all the pain....

I am so tired and I have no more strength to "push" whatever that is needed to be out of my body..... I just decided to clean myself... and see how thing goes.... and left the toilet with that excruciating pain and the feeling of "passing liquid"....

Went back to bed..... with tummy facing down.... hopefully it will reduce the pain.... it reduced a little.... saw my mobile first aid kit that I usually bring for camp.... and hope that I can find some oilment to ease my pain... but to no avail.... no choice.... I just faced down... and hope that the pressure can reduce the pain.... and I was also tossing and turning..... finding the best position with the lesser pain....

I guess while I was doing that.... I am just too tired and I fall asleep.... and before I knew it... it was 6.50am.... and got to wake up for work.....

Everything was alright.... I guess it was after I drank my milo when I was on the way to work..... and I started to feel the tossing and turning.... the contraction in my tummy.... ARGH.... and I endured till I reached my workplace.....

And I just feel so lethargic at work.... and I guess that 10 min nap at work after lunch did help a bit and applying the oilment that my colleague has.... does soothen it abit....

I guess I have food poisoning..... and maybe allergy too... as I have itch rashes during the episode of tummy ache at 3+am.....

Hmm... to lighten this entry.... I am going to end with a lame joke.....

I was feeling a bit nausea too during 3+am..... but I guess I was not going to "puke" since I don't burp. *lame*

Painful cheek

I think there is some abrasion between my teeth and my inner cheek. I think the pain and swollen-ness has spread downwards. Now I can barely open my mouth/jaws. It is just too painful.

You can imagine the slightest opening of my mouth can cause pain... ... how can I open my mouth and put the spoon into my mouth and eatmy meals? Sadly I can just rely on porriage these few days.

I even try to talk without much movement of the jaws. If possible, I just try not to talk. But this is difficult when I have to TALK to the children!

I don't know if it was because of my wisdom tooth.... supposingly to take them out 2 years ago, which I didn't.

Let me see how thing goes for tonight and tomorrow.