Perseverance and Stubbornness and the few guys who I went out with in the last few years

Definition


Perseverance:
Steady persistence in adhering to a course of action, a belief, or a purpose; steadfastness.


Stubborn:
refusing to agree or give in; persistent and determined

Both definition is similar. So when do you say a person has perseverance and when do you say a person is stubborn? It is hard to judge isn't it?

I know myself that I definitely have traits of the above, especially when there is something that I strongly believe in. In the recent months and weeks, these traits has been shown in my work and personal life.


My own experience
To me, I believe that there are always solutions available for every problem, whether how long it takes us to find the solutions. Maybe, at times, we just "let go" of it, so that we wouldn't be troubled by it and maybe we will feel happier after "letting go".

But sometimes have we wonder that if the sense of satisfaction is higher when we managed to solve the problem? Not to brag but I was trying to help my colleagues with few IT-related problems at work. I do not succeed at first try. But neither do I give up. The reason is clear - because I believe in myself; I believe that the problems can be solved. Simply, I DO NOT GIVE UP.
Because I trust and Believe in myself. I may not have the answers to all problems, neither am I a genuis but I will seek other areas to find the solutions if it is not in me. So is that perseverance? But if no matter how I try and I still can't get the solutions? Do you call it stubborn because I refuse to move on? It is so hard to determine isn't it?


In relationships wise, usually I adopt the carefree thinking. If I think he's not for me, I will just give up. In the last few years, there were 3-4 people that I went out with. Not all managed to maintain my interest. Haha... the following things that I'm gonna say here will be like secrets reveal.... cause I don't really like to share about relationships issues. Maybe only Hui Hui knows about them. LOL.


One of them, K, we went out a few times but I gave up because of an application in FB(either FFS or HP). I still remembered he named me "expensive junk". The next moment, I gave him back to himself and cut off contact. No matter what, I still value my self-respect. Anyway, he was the type of person who see external beauty more. Maybe that contributes to one of the reasons why I groom myself more, so that he will regret (LOL). Of course I always wanted to when I was a student but I don't have the financial means back then. There was a time when I saw him at Raffles City, I think he was shocked or surprise but I don't care anymore. NO more interest. Once I decided, I can be very determine. LOL.


The other one, N, I just gave up. Simply because there was no action. We did chat and share songs and lame jokes. He suggested that we go for some movie with his friends but it didn't happen. So I gave up too. If you know me, I don't believe gals making the first move for the first date.


C, I remembered going movie and dinner with him once. I still remember the movie was Leap Years. I remembered rejecting him a few times before accepting it. Same for K. Reason being, I have reservations in meeting guys that I've known online. And I only went out with him once. Because I wasn't very comfortable. Maybe I shouldn't judge him for only one time but I feel that he is trying too hard. LOL. He did ask me out for movies and dinners after that, but I always rejected him and I think he just give up after that. The reason why I reject going out with him because I realised that I started to like A when he went to India.


Among all, of course A is the one I like most (and of course he did say he likes me when he was in India, and both of us felt it was so strange as we didn't even meet before. The feeling was mutual.). The other 3 above are just crushes. A is also the only one that I didn't reject when he asked for the 1st time to go out last year. He is also the only one (among the 4) that I went out with the most. The only one that I still feel shy occasionally when meeting him. The only one that makes me feel that I want to be prettier (because he already know what kind of person I am internally). The only "MCP" that I am willing to put up with. HAha... if he was other people, they are going to get it from me. Smokers used to be out of my consideration but it turned out it was acceptable. This shows how love can accept all weakness. Anyway, he was just a social smoker... now I think he only smokes when he is overseas. Of course, among all, I think and feel that he is who he is. The feeling I have from him is just different from those above. And I'm glad that we had gone out many times and traveled together. No regrets.


The only thing is, he is now not interested in r/s anymore because of his past r/s-es. Maybe he is not ready for one yet. Like I say, I will just give up when things are not right in r/s and actually I fear relationship commitment or rather the expectations. That is why I've never been attached in my life. And I don't give people false hope right from the start. But A is the only one so far that I feel and think that I want to try not giving up. Because I believe he is the one. Someone that I have been waiting for, for my last 24 years. So is this stubborn or perseverance?


But I may just give it up after all for now(not that I don't like him anymore. I do and definitely more than before). I can't say it for the future what will happen but at least for now I'm giving up. This may just be the wrong timing that we met afterall. If I had met him 2 months earlier than I had or earlier than others that "breaks his hearts" or 1-2 years later, things might be different. Maybe just like in "definitely, maybe", he/she may be yours if he/she is meant to be. Maybe, just for my character, I do not want to give up without trying. Maybe, now that I've tried, I should just give up? If that makes him happy being single, without having to fulfill any expectations or being fed on "lies upon lies" by others.


(P.S: There is a similarity in all the 4 guys above. ALL of them has issues in their past r/s-es, i.e. how their gals left for other guys. How on earth did I become some love adviser when I'm not even been into any r/s? I guess it is just the wrong timing I got to know them - "Grieving stage" and it is just my luck.)

To me, I think perseverance is use for situations where there will be good ending i.e. persevere for an exam while stubborn is use for situations where you know there will be no good ending but still trying to persistent in it.

What do you guys think of Perseverance and Stubbornness then?