God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way. And ME to share all the pain, laughter, tears, sorrow,happiness, sun and rain with you! Let us endure all the 暴风雨 and 彩虹 together!

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Understand a person better using Psychology - Part 2

In the previous Understand a person better using Psychology - Part 1, I was sharing with you all about the Id, Ego and Superego. Now in this Part 2, I shall share with you the Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. In the next part, I will include Erik Erikson's 8 stages of Psychosocial Developement.


Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs



According to Maslow, human needs exist in a hierarchy. It is when lower-order needs are satisfied can higher order needs be activated and served as sources of motivation.

The lower 4 levels are known as the basic needs or the deficiency needs in some sources while the highest level is the growth needs. The bottom-up hierarchy is as follows:



Physiological needs

Physiological needs consists of: air, food, water, shelter, sleep, sex, etc. If a person is hungry or thirsty or their body is chemically unbalanced, all of their energies turn toward remedying these deficiencies and other needs remain inactive.


Safety and Security

After one's physical needs is relatively satisfied, the individual's safety needs take over and dominate their behavior. The safety and security needs include:
  • Personal security
  • Financial security
  • Health and well-being
  • Safety net against accidents/illness and the adverse impacts



Love and Belonging

After having the physiological needs and safety and security needs being satisfied, the third level is the love or belonging. In his theory, humans need to feel a sense of belonging and acceptance, whether it comes from a large or small social groups. This psychological aspect of Maslow's hierarchy involves emotionally-based relationships in general, such as:
  • Friendship
  • Intimacy
  • Having a supportive and communicative family


We need to love and be loved (sexually and non-sexually) by others. In the absence of these elements, many people become susceptible to loneliness, cocial anxiety, and Clinical depression. This need for belonging can often overcome the physiological and security needs, depending on the strength of the peer pressure; an anorexic, for example, ignores the need to eat and the security of health for a feeling of control and belonging.


Esteem and Self-Esteem

"All humans have a need to be respected, to have self-esteem, self-respect, and to respect others. People need to engage themselves to gain recognition and have an activity or activities that give the person a sense of contribution, to feel accepted and self-valued, be it in a profession or hobby. Imbalances at this level can result in low self-esteem or inferiority complexes. People with low self-esteem need respect from others. They may seek fame or glory, which again depends on others. It may be noted, however, that many people with low self-esteem will not be able to improve their view of themselves simply by receiving fame, respect, and glory externally, but must first accept themselves internally. Psychological imbalances such as depression can also prevent one from obtaining self-esteem on both levels."


Self- Actualization

"Based on Maslow's beliefs, it is stated in the hierarchy humans need beautiful imagery or something new and aesthetically pleasing to continue towards Self-Actualization. Humans need to refresh themselves in the presence and beauty of nature while carefully absorbing and observing their surroundings to extract the beauty the world has to offer." Self-actualization as expressed through meta-needs: wholeness, perfection, completion, justice, richness, simplicity, aliveness, beauty, goodness, uniquiness, playfulness, truth, antonomy, meaningfulness


According to Maslow, to motivate someone, we need to understand what level of hierarchy that the person is currently on and focus on satisfying those needs at or above that level. Hmm... Maybe that's why some people want some financial security before feeling loved and belonging?

That's is Maslow's Theory but of course there are always critic on his law as well. Like the lower needs need not be fulfilled before the higer needs.

In any way, you know where are you focusing now?

Yesterday

All of a sudden feel like listening to this song....




Yesterday
All my troubles seemed so far away
Now it looks as though they're here to stay
Oh, I believe
In yesterday

Suddenly
I'm not half the man I used to be
There's a shadow hanging over me
Oh, yesterday
Came suddenly

Why she
Had to go I don't know
She wouldn't say
I said
Something wrong now I long
For yesterday

Yesterday
Love was such an easy game to play
Now I need a place to hide away
Oh, I believe
In yesterday

Why she
Had to go I don't know
She wouldn't say
I said
Something wrong now I long
For yesterday

Yesterday
Love was such an easy game to play
Now I need a place to hide away
Oh, I believe
In yesterday

Friday, August 22, 2008

Understand a person better using Psychology - Part 1

Just some random post.

Today my colleague and I talked a bit about Sigmund Freud's Theory of Id, Ego and Superego. So I thought of sharing it with you guys. In addition, I will also be sharing the Maslow Hierarchy of Needs and Erik Erikson's 8 stages of Psychosocial Developement in different parts.

*finding my year 1 psychology lecture notes*

*found*
Id, Ego, and Superego

This theory, according to Freud describes ther personality of a person. Personality is defined as 'Individuals' unique and relatively stable patterns of behaviour, thoughts and feelings. Freud's approach in defining the personality is known as the Psychoanalytic Approach. In this theory, he emphasies on the unconscious forces and conflicts.

So what is Id?

Id consists of all of our primative and innate urges (e.g. bodily needs, sexual desire, aggressive impulses) and is totally unconscious. It operates on the Pleasure Principle ("I want it and I want it now!") and it demands immediate and total gratification, not capable of considering the potential costs (or not bothered about the consequences) of seeking the goal. Using transactional analysis, Id equates to "Child" or "devil of our body". When the Id is too strong, it bound up in self-gratification and uncaring to others.

Before we discussed about Ego, let me introduced you Superego, also known as the "angel of our body"


So what is Superego?

Superego is acquired from our parents and through experience and represents our internalization of the moral teachings and norms of our society. Some of these teachings are often quite inflexible and leave little room for gratification of our basis desires. It stores and enforces rules. It constantly strives for perfection, even though this perfection ideal may be quite far from reality or possibility. Its power to enforce rules comes from its ability to create anxiety.

Superego consists of 2 components: Ego ideal and Conscience, which operates on pride and gulit respectively. The Ego Ideal provides rules for good behaviour, and standards of excellence while the Conscience is the rules about what constitutes bad behaviour. When one's Superego is too strong, he/she will feel guilty all the time and may even have an insufferably saintly personality.


Then how about Ego?
Ego functions with the rational part of the mind. The Ego develops out of growing awareness that you can’t always get what you want. It operates according to the Reality Principle. The Ego realises the need for compromise and negotiates between the Id and the Superego. The Ego's job is to get the Id's pleasures but to be reasonable and bear the long-term consequences in mind. It is partly conscious. When one's Ego is too strong, he/she is extremely rational and efficient, but cold, boring and distant.


The constant Struggle


There will always be a constant struggle between out Id, Ego and Superego. We must always strike a balance between our primitive urges (Id) and our learned moral constraints (Superego). The constant struggle among this 3 plays a key role in personality and psychological disorder.


Defense Mechanism

To keep threathening and unacceptable material out of consciousness to reduce anxiety, the Ego used the following techiques:

  • Sublimation: Unaccetable impulse is channeled into some socially acceptable action. E.g A person who is unable to have any children of her own, instead of going to kidnap one, she adopt one or becomes a teacher.
  • Repression: "forgetting" or pushing unacceptable thoughts or impulses from consciousness into unconsciousness. E.g. A young man wishes that his abusive father would pass away, fails to remember that he has such a wish.
  • Rationalization: Coming up with socially accepted reasons for thoughts or actions based on unacceptable motives. E.g. A young woman on diet ate an entire cake and explains that the cake will spoil in the warm weather.
  • Displacement: Redirecting an emotional response from a dangerous object to a safe one. E.g. A man feels angry towards his boss but cannot direct the anger at him, instead he direct the anger towards his family.
  • Projection: Transferring unacceptable motives or impulses to others. E.g. It's not because I dislike you but because you dislike me, so I dislike you.
  • Regression: Responding to a threathening situation in a way appropriate to an earlier age or level of development. E.g. Instead of feeling helplessness when the doctor refused to administer addition medication, the patient throw a tantrum.

Food for thoughts

After this short explanations of Id, Ego and Superego, have you just realised that you might have understand a certain person better? Sometimes, when our emotions take over us, we just fail to look at a person at a deeper level than what he/she protrays to be, which often create misunderstandings.

Anyway, coincidently, I came across this quiz to see if I am an Id, Ego or Superego.



You Are the Superego



While some people may think first and act later... you often don't act at all.

You rather be safe than sorry, and you take ethics pretty seriously.

Like everyone, you have some pretty crazy desires. But unlike everyone, you restrain yourself.

You have high standards for your own behavior. And you happily exceed them.




I don't know how true is it. Maybe it is true that I might have more Superego in me, as I seldom show my Id - my primitive desires..... and maybe resulted me to miss out certain opportunities.... Hmm.... In any way, please take the quiz with a pinch of salt. =)

*Most information taken from my lecture notes and http://wilderdom.com/personality/L8-4StructureMindIdEgoSuperego.html

Career Plan and Certification Courses

My deputy director was looking for me just now but I was seeing a client. I went to look for him after I packed up and off my PC.

He was asking about my career plan and what do I see myself in 2-5 years time. I told him seriously I have not really thought about it. Maybe I did. But I wasn't too sure of it. I told him since I just started in Peadiatrics, I woule like to stay in it for some time first.

How about certification courses?
I told him I am interested in attending the Sensory Integration related short courses by Sidney Chu. But if talking about certification courses, I am interested in the NDT course. Haha... he said he was thinking of that for me too.

Next Question. He asked if I am intending to do my degree conversion. I told him that I am going to do soon, 25 Aug 2008. Then he asked if it is going to be self-funded. I told him most probably and I am most likely going to get a loan from the bank. He then asked if I had thought of asking my organisation to support me. That is like a 1 million dollars question. lolx.... I told him "Yes.... I have considered but I'm not too sure."

Then he asked if I had tried talking to him. He said I can talk to him and see if we can work out something.... maybe 50%, 60%, 100%, etc. Hmmm.... that's coolz.... but of course it comes with Bond la....

He said I can go and consider and let him know if I am interested. If I am, he can try to see if my organisation can support me.

Thus, I have to ponder ponder over the weekends. Anyone wants to chip in some suggestions? =)

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Degree Conversion and Payment

Okay.... This is gonna be my last post of the day and I'll turned in early today.

Just received an email from the coordinator of my degree conversion. She emailed me the statement of account for my first 2 core modules (and the only 2) that I am taking. This shows that I need to go and apply my loan soon. Went to POSB that day and enquire how and what are the procedures I need to do to apply for my POSB Further Study Assist. Also enquired whether I can apply the loan since I still yet to clear my NYP Tuition Fees Loan.

Anyway, I have to pay AUD$2,250 and AUD$6,750 by 29 Sept and 31 Oct respectively. So must go and apply soon. She also told me that I can start my online learning from 25 August 2008 onwards. That is like so damn soon.....

Only told my mom in Hokkien the other day that I've going to study soon...... she was like "going overseas? You got money ah?"

"In Singapore lah."

"No money borrow from loan shark lah."


Well, sometimes when someone fails to understand us, especially our loved ones, we tends to get impatient and frustrated easily.

To my mom, I guess she felt that there is no need to study so much. So long you get a job and have a stable job, won't starve to death is good already. And when fate comes, get married and be someone's wife.

To me, it is my achievement and my dream that I always wanted to complete a degree, for myself and for the family. I have quite complicated relatives background in my mother's extended family. And as I have always perform well in my younger days... and one of those few who have completed A Level and/or Diploma. (some of them are dropouts or completed only N level or ITE). I just want to bring some "glory" to the family. More importantly, for myself.

If you were thinking I am doing it for money, so that I can have higher pay. Then I think you are wrong. But come to think of it, how much increment can they give me? $100? $200? Even if it is $200 increment, it will take me 1o years to earn back my S$24,000.

So much so about the fees, my online learning is going to start on the 25th August 2008 and my 1st block teaching will be on the 6 and 7 Sept 2008.

If you ask me whethet I am excited? I have no idea.

Night!

When I fall in love... ...

All of a sudden feel like listening to this song... ... I still can remember I first heard this song from the complimentary CD when I bought the LIME magazine in 1997 or 1998... ...



When I Fall in Love - Ant and Dec



I used to dream that lasted
and cut through my foolish pride.
Then when you appeared I found it
baby, you're the best thing in my,
best thing in my life.

I can't believe the change in me girl,
your everyday is my surprise
You filled my up now I'm complete
baby, You're the best thing in my,
best thing in my life.

( Chorus) When I fall in love its gonna be forever,
when I fall in love its gonna be forever.
Forever, forever fall in love it's gonna
be forever, forever together, fall in love
it's gonna be forever.
Forever, forever fall in love it's gonna be forever,
forever together fall in love its gonna be forever.

Now I'm only happy when I'm near
you, you've turned my whole world
upside down.
Like stars above i'll be there for you,
you're the best thing in my,
best thing in my.
I thought I'd seen it all before girl, the
seven wonders in their eyes,
But none compare to what I feel for you,
you're the best thing in my,
best thing in my life.

( chours)

When I fall in love I want the love to be
strong, a physical attraction that goes on and on.
i wanna hold you close, I wanna feel ya near,
surround you in the dark and protect you from fear.
I wanna grow close together, grow old, feel
trust love and be told,
Eternity till death do us part,
you blew my mind now take my heart.

Forever.
(chorus) ( repeat )

蕭敬騰的歌

蕭敬騰的歌。。。 给喜欢听他歌的人。。。。

Hsiao Jam.s Collection--蕭敬騰 收藏

Tired....

*yawn*

Had meeting yesterday.... but it ended early than usual. Went home and took my late dinner.

I'm so tired today.... slept at around 2am this morning. Couldn't get to sleep. Thinking too much... lolz....

Tired.... I seriously need some sleep.

Validate the information online... ...

In this technology world, whatever information that we found online, must be validated. And how much we trust the information given to us? That is for us to decide. Unless all the sources that we found online gives us the same information.

Well.... someone used my URL and my blog reading level appears to be

blog readability test

On the other hand, if you try to type in my individual posts URL.... it seems like I am having this:

blog readability test

Well....they could be using some algorithm and generate using the URL or it could be finding out the number of words in a sentence used in their blog.... or.... it could be anything..... I don't know. Or it could be true too.....

But I rather most people able to understand what I am blogging about than only a GENIUS would understand.

Isn't that why I blog in the first place? To allow people to understand me and to share my thoughts and perspectives? =)

HAha... maybe I can get my young clients to come and surf my blog. Maybe they will listen better to what I have to say here than during my therapy since most of them have problem in their social interaction. And most seems to interact better with their computers and surfing on youtube and playing games. =)


Night.

Oh btw I tried CNN.com and channelnewsasia.com and the results were:

blog readability testblog readability test

So what say you?

Just have fun playing. Go and try it out! =)

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Palmistry and Occupational Therapy

All of a sudden, it reminded me of an incident 2-3 years back, during my Hands module.

There was 1 day.... my lecturer was teaching us how to make a splint. Then he was going through the surface anatomy of our palm, so that we know which are the markings to make.

He was saying......

"Do a marking at the distal palmar crease."


Me in the background mumbling to my classmate.......

"that is the heart line....."

My lecturer continue.....


"then another marking at the proximal palmar crease...."

I mumbled,

"hmm.... that is the fate line....."

My lecturer cannot stand any longer.....


"this is not a palmistry class....."



lolx..... those were the days......

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Perspective Story

Another story that describes about different perspectives.....

And also teaches us that "what you see perceive is only often part of the whole"


瞎子摸象


"我们认识事物,一定要从多个角度来多方面去考察,才能得到最全面的了解。如果只知道个局部就以为自己已经全明白了,从而片面地看待事物,就不免会闹出瞎子摸象这样的笑话"


If you have problem playing the above, please click here.

Challenge your perspectives...

Heard another perspective from Alvin regard "Is the cup more important than coffee?"

It is great to have people to challenge your thoughts and perspectives. Why?

Firstly, you get to know whether people are listening to you/reading your blog/emails, etc.

Secondly, you will never know what you will get out of it. Another perspective to hear from, which may change your perspective altogether. No wrong, no right, just different.

Thirdly, it makes myself think how much I "hold on" to my perspective/ beliefs. To make me think how sure I am or how defensive I may get.

But well, over the time, I learnt to be less defensive as I realised that is the topic that we are challenging and not anything personal. I guess that is what the people in the western society do better and asian society still need improvement on that. =)


Anyway, Good morning and Have a Milo..... before you read on to my previous entry on the cup and coffee...... =)

Monday, August 18, 2008

Is the cup more important than the coffee?

Received the following in my email from a colleague.... thought you all might be interested.

Is the cup more important than the coffee? Read on to find out.

Something nice to share and ponder..

'The happiest people in the world are not those who have no problems, but those
who learn to live with things that are less than perfect.'

A group of graduates, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old University professor. Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life.

Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups - porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some
expensive, some exquisite - telling them to help themselves to the coffee.

When all the students had a cup of coffee, the professor said: 'If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the simple and cheap ones. While it is normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress.

Be assured that the cup itself adds no quality to the coffee. In most cases, it is just more expensive and in some cases even hides what we drink. What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups...

Then you began eyeing each other's cups.' Now consider this,' said the professor,

'Life is the coffee; the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They
are just tools to hold and contain Life, and the type of cup we have does not
define, nor change the quality of Life we live.

Sometimes, by concentrating on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee God has provided us. Enjoy your coffee!'


The happiest people don't have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything. Four things to take note of in life...

1. Live simply.
2. Love generously.
3. Care deeply.
4. Speak kindly.

Give more expect less.


Shine a light & enjoy your Coffee today, like how I enjoyed mine today! ;)