Emotions and thoughts

One moment you are nice and chatty

The other moment u seems to  be another different person

Talking to you everyday is like treading on eggshells

Every message before I sent, I would need to spend minutes phrasing and rephrasing.


Worrying if it will upset or irritates you.

Don't know when I'll break the egg shells again.

Yet, every time, I am both excited and hesitant to receive your reply.

Because I'm worried it not only break the egg shells but my heart once again

But yet, each time I wouldn't hesitate to try

Because I know, sometimes your reply will put up a smile on my face

Albeit it is 1% chance

However I don't know how long I will last

Keeping my broken pieces of my heart back each time it broke

Maybe one day, it will stop

When it no longer beats for you or anyone else that matters




Yet I always wonder.

Did yours really stop beating for anyone?

Or did it beat for me once?

I thought it did, days and weeks before your birthday last year.

Or was it just all my illusion?

Questions after questions.

All left unanswered.

Am I too persistent or are you too reluctant?

To be involved in another mystery

A happiness or sadness.

Time will tell.

To proof to you, I am not like the others you met


Albeit stubborn, irritating, not listening to you,

you know that I'll always be there for you when you needed me.

You have seen it for yourself for the last 4 years

Needless for me to elaborate





Things you dislike, I will remember by heart

But I can't change overnight

Let me sit on it and try it out

Each and everytime I talk to you

Not perfect but I promise you

I'll try my best and talk it well

But you got to guide and show me

The way you want it to be

Without irritation and frustration

Even if you do, involve me.

Share with me and correct me.

Show me the way you want it to be



Tears dropped while I'm typing these

However long till now,

You think you prefer to have quiet moments away from me

To ease your frustration and irritation

Your wish is granted

I will be mute and blind as long as you want it to be

You will not hear from me as long as you want it to be

Should you think otherwise, I am just a message or phonecall away


The future for you to choose and see.